I just had a disagreement with my best friend - or rather she had one with me. There is a difference after all. I was dropping her at a friends house and asked which way she wanted me to go. She responded with "Risa, you don't know how to get there?" Of course I did. I know many ways to get to any place. I told her normally she's driving so I don't pay attention to that particular route she wanted us to take. Somehow the conversation turned to "Risa, when I ask you how to get somewhere, I ask what the best way is." I responded that "the best" way is relative to a person's definition of best. She said "Fine. The fastest." Even then, it depends on the time of day because of traffic. Then it turned to "Risa, you always have to debate and argue. You always think you're right, and I'm wrong." Which couldn't be further from the truth.
When I was little, yes, I saw a very black and white world, was extremely opinionated and argumentative. Over the years I've learned to see the various shades of gray in between however it hasn't been until recently that I've truly made an attempt to shift my own perception and do away with polarities. Good vs bad, right vs wrong etc. Because the truth is, polarities only exist if we allow them to. Perception, is everything.
I was not trying to argue nor debate. I was simply pointing out all the variables. I may not have a desire to get somewhere quickly, instead, my desire may be to take a road without a heavy flow of traffic so I have the option of driving 10-15 mph and taking notice of what I'm driving through. That may be the "best way" for me to go at that moment. As I said, perception is everything.
Growing up, my mom always took different routes to take us to school or on errands. And because of that, I know my way around nearly every neighborhood in San Francisco. Too often, I find that we (myself included) rush through life. When you focus on the destination, you miss the best and most important (IMO) part - the journey. Cliche but, true. Anything can happen in the future. We don't even know what's in store for any of us so rather than stress over something that hasn't even happened yet, focus on today. When you're so concerned about the future (or past) - both things that don't even exist; illusions - you miss out on actual Life as it's happening.
I was going to write more. I may come back and add to this, but I lost my train of thought.